An Interview With A Clown Pigeon

Good evening, or good morning, or good afternoon, or whatever you consider to be proper. I honestly don't care about your opinion on how indecent and unacceptable it may be. This is my introduction post based on an interview with a winged feathery-like asshole, and if you don't like it, then you can piss off. Now, moving on, this interview involves a rather funny looking sub-species of a bird. It's called a pigeon. What, you couldn't take a guess? you couldn't use your own brain inside of that cranium of yours to have an idea on what the hell I'm talking about? Oh, so you do have a brain after all to make a second guess. So anyway, you ask, what is a clown pigeon? Well, it's a special type of a feathered, winged, bipedal, endothermic, vertebrate-like specimen. That has developed psychokinetic powers, psychic abilities and telepathy. They can mentally read your mind and thoughts through out the process by using telekinesis. I know, I know, it may seem hard to believe, but, if you think that I'm some nut job who makes weird extraordinary claims. And discovered a rare unique pigeon that can talk to you telepathically. And can give you insight on how to become less of an asshole. Then, quite frequently, I don't give a shit.

Let's move on shall we, upon arrival of this foolish looking-like ass clown, I had to ask what was it like through out his life in general. All details, opinions, and questioning involving within' this interview about me asking him a bunch of random questions, is of my concerns only, and not of yours. Thank You, and enjoy

An Interview With An Clown Pigeon,

Me: Hello Mr.Puffball, can I call you Puffball? anyway, so let's begin on how you've been throughout the years.What was it like?

Clown Pigeon: Well, I'm not sure you should do that, because I have something called "feelings" and felt a bit offended by you saying such a racial animal slur. However, about you asking me on weather what happened through out the years. I pretty much can safely say that I had somewhat of good times in the past. Though, nothing is happening at the moment, but if something were to come up, I'll let myself know that. And then maybe I'll give an answer to make my point across. Depending if another interviewer were to ask any familiar questions relatively related to what was current.

Me: Sorry about that, I apologize, it's just, that, I can't help for the fact that you look fluffy and pudgy both at the same time. I was trying to articulate and explain a certain aspect on how the vast chunkiness of a particular type of bird has a redeeming outlook to it. That gives the impression of something that can be squeezable.

Clown Pigeon: So your saying that I'm an object of some sort? what is this a joke? I hope it is.

Me: Oh, come on, you really think I would be making such a claim? Why would I do such a thing? What would I gain out of it even though it seems rather silly.

Clown Pigeon: Do you have any question that has meaning. This time with substance.Without any source of offensive remarks.

Me: Offensive remarks? Look, I wasn't trying to offend anybody, okay, so just calm down for a moment and breath.....but can I please move towards another topic so I can maintain a coherent interview with consistency maintaining a balance?

Clown Pigeon: Yes, you may, but keep in mind that if I catch you messing around, giving me complete flat out nonsense and bullshit then I will have to deliberately kick you in the balls. 

Me: Ha!, yeah right, I could easily put my foot up your ass like there's no tomorrow. And then use a boxing glove to knock your ass out in a heart beat. But anyways, like I was saying, how was life growing up?

Clown Pigeon: You really think your funny huh? well, I'll try to respond to your shallow statement even though it is of no importance to me. In my life, I have seen a lot of shit take place in front of my own two eyes. There was one time were I was flying across a building and all of sudden, there was a guy with a clown nose. He stared at me, and I looked back at him as if I was like, "WTF are you looking at bitch" up until this point, I had enough of this idiot looking right back at me, so I decided to read his mind. I was using my telepathic ability to interpret the ideas and thoughts of this asshole. Then I realized that he was thinking about dicks and cotton candy. I couldn't believe someone would think of such things.

Me: Yeah, me neither, who in the hell in their right mind thinks of such things in the first place? As I almost forgot to mention, what about your psychic abilities and psychokinesis, do you use them when your angry or pissed off? what about when someone tells you off, are you willing to move and throw certain items and objects in order to hurt them? Elaborate please,

Clown Pigeon: You have the nerve to talk to me as if I owe you an explanation, but here it goes.When I get really mad or angry, to an extent, I will throw an inanimate-like object at whoever is making fun of me, literally. I hope you don't test my patience because I'll know your deepest thoughts, fears, and even, your secrets that are suppressed in the back of your subconscious mind.

Me: Really? Well, listen dipshit, I don't have to take any empty threats from you or anyone else. You son of a bitch. I know one thing for sure, and that's, I hope someone throws a cream pie at your face and then you'll tell me if you like or not. Hey, I got a joke for you, does an insane pigeon go "cooo cooo" or is it the one that has a stray jacket on?

Clown Pigeon: Oh you know what I had it with you, if I find you, I swear I'll track you down and give you the middle finger. Then I'll mentally throw a whole bunch of solid objects at you to make your stupid ass run real fast away from me.

Me: And I hope you get hit by a bus! I'm not scared by the likes of you, without further a due, I declare this interview to be over. Go screw yourself you cunt licker. You probably couldn't find your way out of a pigeon hole. The tolerance level within' this discussion is coming to a halt. Maybe next time well have more of a better sense of understanding between the differences of clown pigeons and fucking assholes who can go shove a stick of dynamite up their rectum. Take care, or if not, then fuck you very much. Signing out, Peace

Clown Pigeon: I'm giving you a warning, you better take heed otherwise I'll go inside your mind and make you go bat shit insane. Then I'll...

Me: Oh shut the f**k up already, will you? I'm done with you, you telepathic psycho-kinetic retard. But thank you for your cooperation, bitch.

So there you have it folks, an interview with a clown pigeon. Hope your satisfied, if not, then fuck off and go to some blog where there's happy bullshit and retarded optimism. My next interview will be with a duck, but this time, he has sombrero (in case you don't know, it's a Mexican hat) and loves traveling around the world to find the best tasting taco. And that excludes Taco Bell. Until then, take care.